i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
