i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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