I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
