I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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