used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
