I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
as a side note pls kill me
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
