with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
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Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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