His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
