Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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