His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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