hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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