You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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