so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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