Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
