All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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