it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
