and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize