The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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