google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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