how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
