but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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