Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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