if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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