i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
