For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
