grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
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You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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