It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
