apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
