Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
