Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I believe in your delicious
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
