I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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