Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
