the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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