How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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