have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
