Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
