Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
high people should be assigned attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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