i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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