my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Randomize
