I've blown a few things in my day
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
