Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize