i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
