doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
