omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
