You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
