so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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