He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
