I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he laminated a picture of his dick.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
