Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
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Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
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Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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