I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
