Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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