What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
