i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
