You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
