She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
