Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
