After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
