It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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