so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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