We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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