can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Mom said you looked used
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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